Go Home Levi And Other Random Musings…

Dear Levi Johnston,

I don’t want to see your naked ass in Playgirl magazine.  As for your clothed ass, I would love to see it walking away from me, toward oblivion so that you’ll never be heard from again.  Now in your defense, I thought it sucked that you were dragged into the national spotlight due to impregnating Bristol, but then again, I didn’t see a gun pointed at your head at the Republican Convention.  But if you really didn’t like the spotlight, you wouldn’t be killing yourself to get in it so often, now.

I don’t for one second believe that the ex-Governor called her son with Down’s Syndrome, “Retarded” and when you go on national television and say shit like that, you have to know that your credibility is all but lost.  The fact that the CBS Morning Show even had you on, is quite baffling to be honest. You’re not selling a book.  You didn’t make a film.  You haven’t discovered a cure for cancer or been nominated for a noble prize.  You did an interview with Vanity Fair Magazine.  That’s not really an accomplishment.

I do appreciate your honesty in basically admitting that you’re trying to cash in while you can.  But you made it clear during this interview that you wanted to get revenge for everything Palin said about you when you and her daughter broke up.  You also publicly threatened Palin with more bombshell revelations, which makes me wonder why I’d believe you, anyway? It’s a classic “He Said – She Said” as you can’t back up anything that you’ve alleged.  Regardless, I don’t believe that anything you said warrants two segments totaling close to 15 minutes of an air time on a morning show.

Why don’t you do us all a favor and drop your drawers, cash your check and wrap up the rest of your 15 minutes of fame.  Palin at least was a Governor and a Vice Presidential candidate.  That entitles her to be in the national news for all things politics for as long as she wants to be involved.

You impregnated her daughter.  All that entitles you to is child support payments and visitation rights.

Dear Congress,

It took you OVER A DECADE to make it a federal hate crime to assault gay, lesbian and transgendered people based on their sexual orientation? Are you kidding me?  It only took eight years for us to get a man on the moon after President Kennedy announced the US’s intention to do so.

Shame on you.  On all of you.

Dear Glenn Beck,

My issues with you are getting worse – so much so I think I might need a support group.  I’m not sure where it stems from as I don’t seem to hate other conservative pundits like, O’Reilly and Limbaugh and some, like Scarborough, for example, I even enjoy.

I think it might be your combining of a shitty philosophy with bad acting and lame props.  And there’s your inability to spell which although I can personally related to, if I had a national television show you can bet your ass I’d have pre-designed, spell-checked graphics in lieu of a chalkboard.

But I think my real issue is not your political persuasions as much as your far reaching assumptions that defy logical and basic functional problem solving skills, not to mention lousy journalism standards.  I’m talking about things like taking the Entertainment Industry Foundation’s “I Participate Campaign” that sought to persuade more American’s to volunteer and relating that to Communism somehow while blaming Obama for orchestrating it.

Lets try to follow the logic:

• You claimed that there wasn’t a volunteerism shortage in this country (without any facts/figures to back up that statement).
• Then claimed that EIF orchestrated a fake volunteerism shortage (again no facts).
• Then related that to Chairman Mao’s China without actually explaining what you meant.
• Then took the First Lady’s approval/public endorsement of this program and made it seem like the White House was telling, instructing or somehow demanding how we American’s should spend our free time?
• Then you tied in the service aspect of the 9/11 remembrance ceremonies, showed a clip of an Ashton Kutcher speech, and threw in a reference to Karl Marx (again without explanation/clarification)?
• Then you mentioned Disney’s Free Day at the Park, and tied that to the Obama Administration saying that the White House is “calling for it [volunteerism] because they control the media”.
• Then you implied that if we don’t follow along we will somehow by punished by the Obama Administration (via your hand slapping, visual aid) and then tied Obama to the “embedding of messages into TV shows”(again with no proof of this).
• You then wrap it all it with a big finish that includes, bitching about Obama’s audacity to push volunteerism stating that only churches and charitable organizations should tell us to volunteer.

Wait a second Glen.  Where is your proof of all this?  And why did you forget to mention that President Obama was with President George H.W. Bush when THEY made their call to service on October 16th.  You know the President famous for uttering the phrase, “a thousand points of light” that was coined to promote volunteerism?

But what the heck, lets go with your assumptions and consider a few things such as:

• How far in advance must a show topic be pitched before it can be created, written, performed and taped to be aired in the fall?
• How much coordination had to occur between all 4 networks, their producers and writers to make this happen on four different networks during the same week?
• How much lead time did the networks need to get their PSA’s created to be used to promote the I Participate campaign?
• Could it have happened between the time Obama and Bush made their joint call to service on the 16th of October and the I Participate Week that began on October 19th?
• And finally, how in God’s name does this become part of the Obama Administration Television Embedding Propaganda Machine?  Because you said so?

You can’t accuse the entertainment industry of creating a fake volunteer problem that doesn’t exist by creating a fake propaganda news story that doesn’t exist.

Just following your logic, Glenn.

I never thought I would say this, but can’t you just call Obama a pinhead and move on to the next story on the teleprompter?  You suck so bad you make O’Reilly look like a charming, breath of fresh air.

Just stop being an asshole will you?  And take an acting class for shit’s sake.

Not To Be A Bitch But….

Madonna is trying to raise money for her charity, Raising Malawi. I think that’s super. I’m all for helping the underprivileged. I’m also all for the uber-rich helping the underprivileged which is why I’m confused.

To encourage her fans to part with $100,000 of their hard earned money, she has generously pledged up to $100,000 of her hard earned money to match the donations that she receives. Which is great and generous and wonderful and selfless until you consider that she’s worth over $325 MILLION!

Not to be a bitch but – write a damn check for $200,000 and call it a day!  Don’t make a video asking for my help. Don’t spend money to create and maintain a website to process the Pay Pal donations. Just write the check and drop if off the next time you’re there. In the mean time, my money will be freed up for another charity that needs some cash or better yet something that I’m passionate about.

I think Madonna should talk a page out of her friend Rosie O’Donnell’s play book. Love her or hate her, you can’t deny that that Rosie gives away a shit load of money. She funds her passions herself. She’s donated a rumored $50 million to different charitable causes and organizations. During an interview with CBS earlier this year, Rosie was quoted as saying,

“I was very lucky to make a lot of money. More money than any human should make,” she admits. “I have tremendous guilt issues about the money I have. And when I started making the money, I said to the money person, ‘If I’m ever on the Forbes list of richest people, you’re fired. I never want to be on that list’.”

Now, I don’t agree with the guilt part, but I do agree that when you get to a certain level of wealth, you really need to ask yourself, “How much do I need?” If you’re hoarding it just to have it, what’s the point.  If you have all that you need, give some of it away. And if you’re passionate about a cause, then by all means, fund your passion.

But don’t ask Joe Schmoe that has 23 years left on his mortgage and two kids to put through college to fund it for you. Fund it yourself.

Why?

For the same reason a dog licks his balls… Because you can!

What’s There To Debate – It’s Rape!

Thank you John Stewart for making my life so easy.  I mean, why take the time to write something when he already wrote it, fact checked it, delivered it to a live audience, and provided cool graphics?

I found the previous story very disturbing and when you add to it, the bizarre outrage over the detainment of Roman Polanski by some, it makes you wonder what the hell is going on?

A lot of commentaries were published once Polanski was jailed, some for, some against and some to fill in the blanks for those of us not in the know back in ‘77 (my favorite being one written by Megan Carpentier.)

Now I get that back in the 70’s, rape laws as well as society’s view of women in general were very different from today.  I get that at one point in history a man was allowed to do whatever he wanted to a woman sexually and before rape shield laws went into affect, a woman’s past sexual history was allowed to be as on trial as her alleged rapist.  I get that a plea deal was made (as inconceivable as that seems after reading some of the grand jury transcripts from the case) but as a mother, I also get why you’d be okay with a plea deal to save your child from the trauma of the press coverage that would have come with a trial.

What I don’t get is why he was allowed to leave the country to finish the movie he was working on and why he ran in the first place?  He had a plea deal in place and was going to avoid jail time.  Why run?  Why didn’t he think that the judge would honor it?

Perhaps it was because while out of the country wrapping his flick, the judge read reports and saw pictures of Polanski with his new underage lover, a 15-year-old Natasha Kinski.  Kinski has never denied their relationship, in fact she is quoted as saying, “[On Roman Polanski, who directed her in Tess (1979): As a director, he was 10 times more wonderful than as a lover.”

Ouch.  I guess when you’re not drugged you have higher standards.

As of this morning’s writing, Polanski is temporarily out of jail and receiving medical attention, Franken’s law passed and per the latest figures via a special report on women by Maria Shriver, women now make up 50% of the workforce.  In fact 80% of the recent job losses we’ve experienced have happened to men and increasingly wives are earning more than their husbands. So perhaps moving forward as women gain more control, less time will be wasted on debating rape or justifying sexual deviance due to someone’s creative genius.  But until that happens, God love all of the many men out there that don’t fall for such antiquated thinking.

And thank you Chris Rock for as usual, cutting right through the bullshit and putting it all into perspective:

more about “Chris Rock Doesn’t Like-Like Roman Po…“, posted with vodpod

The Fun Theory

more about “Piano stairs – Rolighetsteorin.se – T…“, posted with vodpod

Hmm…too bad we can’t make health care reform just as fun.  If only we had an iPhone app for that.  Maybe that would get it done.

Volt

I’ve watched every season of Bravo’s Top Chef since it began even though when you think about it, the show really shouldn’t work.  You tune in weekly to watch chefs that you’ve never heard of, turn ingredients that you’ve never tasted, into dishes that you can’t sample.  Yet each season I’ve learned a lot about food and cooking while being thoroughly entertained.  So you can only imagine my excitement this season, when Bryan Voltaggio, Chef and co-owner of Volt, a restaurant in my town, was announced as a contestant.  Finally a chef that I’ve not only heard of and met, but who’s work, I’ve tasted.

I met Bryan back in April of 2008.  My friend Hilda Staples and he were opening their restaurant when Hilda graciously asked me to come with her as they sampled coffees from a local roaster in town to develop their signature blend.  So sorry as I have no salacious gossip to spice up my post.  The guy is as nice in person as he is on TV.

Shortly after Volt opened we went to dinner with our neighbors, Paula and Rich who are true foodies.  They not only belong to a gourmet dinner club, but are extremely capable of whipping up gourmet meals at a moments notice.

Our dinner was excellent and even though I’ve had more fast food meals than gourmet meals in my lifetime, it was accessible to someone with a limited palate like mine.  I ordered a food foreign to me (sweet breads) and because I dined with those in the know didn’t embarrass myself by ordering the hot pea soup (it was cold, who knew?).  The service was extraordinary and Volt’s attention to detail in terms of food, wine, ambiance and decor is unmatched in my opinion.

Since the grand opening I’ve been there many times for drinks and unbelievable bar foods, their fabulous express lunch (that allows you to experience fine dining at the bargain price of $14.99) as well as lunch in the main dining room.  Honestly, it doesn’t matter where you eat, you’re treated first class and able to experience a exquisite meal.

Last month I had this fabulous fish at the bar!

I wish I could tell you what it was, but Chef Voltaggio is so adept at keeping the menu seasonal, that by the time I finally got around to posting, he had already changed it for the fall.  Suffice to say, I didn’t leave a morsel behind and my husband begged me not to embarrass him by licking my plate clean.

It’s great fun to watch Bryan kick ass each week but what I love more than anything is how humble the man is.  A few weeks ago, when Joel Robuchon, France’s chef of the century, announced Bryan as the winner of the elimination challenge, he looked truly surprised.  He doesn’t try to make exciting TV by badmouthing the other contestants or acting like a jackass – he simply shows up and cooks.

Tonight Chef Voltaggio will compete against the remaining 8 contestants (one of which is his brother, Michael Voltaggio) and if you haven’t been tuning in, I strongly recommend that you check it out.  More importantly, consider checking out his restaurant in person.  Volt is only an hour from both Baltimore and DC, located in Frederick, Maryland which received the prestigious Great American Main Street Award in 2005.

It’s destination dining at it’s finest.  You’ll be glad that you made the trip.

Origin of Stupidity

I’m going to let Christina do all the talking because she does it so well and I love the way she says “bullshit” with her Romanian accent.  Take it away Christina…

more about “Origin of Stupidity“, posted with vodpod

The Real Housewives Of Late Night

You’ve got to love the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo.  First off, no one is a housewife and many aren’t even married.  They are all working women, juggling career and family (although some don’t even have children) using their reality show to further build their empires.  Whether it’s Vicky “We’re going to Mexico” Gunvalson’s insurance company or Betheny, “What the F?” Frankel’s Skinny Girl brand or Sheree “I’m going to put on a fashion show without first having any garments completed” Whitfield’s fashion line, the OC gals never fail to annoy the shit out of me.  But because they make me laugh while doing it, I tune in when I can.

However, if the link below was the latest installment of Bravo’s weekly high-end, train wreck, you better believe I’d be recording it every week.

The Real Houswives of Late Night

GL Follow Up

I’ve been watching Guiding Light all week now, building up to Friday’s finale.  I keep wondering who’s coming back and how they’re going to bury Alan Spauling without his son Alan Michael showing up, while also trying to figure out who the hell all of these young people are!

In soap opera land, kids age in dog years so if you haven’t watch a show in a decade, your brain can’t piece together who’s who.  It also takes a while to remember that soap opera land is the most incestuous, bizarre, parallel universe that exists.  A place where you marry your high school sweetheart, then divorce, then marry your ex-father-in-law, then kill ex-father-in-law now current husband, only to go on the lamb where you fall madly in love with a stranger-bad-boy-type, only to return to fictional soap opera town where it is revealed that your new lover is actually your step-brother right before you find out that you’re pregnant so you quickly jump into bed with your first husband’s best friend, framing him for the pregnancy and saving your child from the stigma, until years later when your toddler (who is suddenly a senior in high school) gets cancer and needs a bone marrow transplant from the ex-lover-step-brother that you paid to leave town and now need to track down.

Honestly, I don’t miss that type of story telling.

But here’s what has been fabulous about this week.  When a viewer falls in love with a character and watches him or her daily for 20 years, they will justify the character’s poor behavior and love them anyway.  And although younger soap actors age inappropriately so as to get placed into sexual, grownup story lines, adult characters are allowed to age normally.  I believe this also ties into the “I’ve known you so long, I’ll love you no matter what mentality” such that soap stars aren’t held to the same insane beauty standards as other actors.

Because of this I’ve spent the past two weeks watching actors that look the age of the characters they’re playing.  In fact, every actor over 50 looks exactly like what you’d expect a man or women over 50 to look like.  They’ve gotten gray, put on some weight, and have wrinkles.  Instead of being distracted by their smooth yet non-moving faces, I find comfort in their features and enjoy watching these old friends be themselves on screen.

Vintage Reva & Josh

Current Reva & Josh

Vintage Billy & Vanessa

Current Billy & Vanessa

I wish I could see more people like this on all the shows that I love to watch.  It’s just more interesting and frankly, more believable.

Guiding Light

I started watching soap operas during middle school.  We lived out in the country, and once I became older and it became uncool to be outside playing with my little brother, I started staying inside more, watching soaps.  I remember watching All My Children, One Life To Life, Ryan’s Hope and even The Edge of Night but my all time favorite was Guiding Light.

Guiding Light started as a 15 minute radio show in 1937.  My mom remembers coming home from lunch and being “sushed” by her mom who just wanted 15 minutes to listen to her story. Apparently, when it jumped to television, my mom and her siblings starting buying lunch at school instead of coming home to eat.  I’m sure it had nothing to do with GL being on at that time.

When I got to high school, I had less time to follow all of my shows so eventually I settled on Guiding Light as the one I would watch.  If I remember correctly, it aired at 3:00 and I could actually catch the last 20 minutes when I got off the bus each day.  During my summer breaks I’d watch religiously and my mom would keep me posted during the school year.  In college  I’d catch my story between classes.  Eventually after starting my first job, I got in the habit of taping my show each day and catching up in the evenings.  I followed that routine until the late 1990’s. Once I had 2 kids, following a daily show just became too much.

This summer, when I heard that Guiding Light was going off the air I felt bad – like it was my fault because people like me didn’t take the time to watch anymore. Last week I was talking to my good friend Cindy, another Guiding Light junkie, and we decided that we were going to watch GL for the next 2 weeks to see how they wrapped up a show that had been in production for 72 years.

Honestly it’s been a blast.  Past characters are coming out of the wood work.  Old flames are reuniting, diseases are being cured, characters with perpetual flaws are finally seeing the error of their ways…and changing!  Suddenly everyone is mature and no one mistakenly overhears something that sends their character into an inappropriate direction.  No one’s being raped, abused, or cheated on.  Alcoholics are still on the wagon.  Paternity test results aren’t being switched at the hospital.  In essence it’s a soap opera fan’s dream:  All characters are exactly where they’re supposed to be, doing the things you’ve always wanted them to do, acting in ways you knew that they were capable of and are with the people that they’re supposed to be with.

Frankly, it’s very unsoap-opera-like.  And perhaps thats the problem with soaps in general. You watch a show daily and the characters become like family to you.  You love them so much that it’s hard to watch them perpetually self destruct, so you eventually turn them off.  Maybe if soaps were on weekly like evening shows it would be easier to maintain a following, the characters wouldn’t drive you crazy and bonus, there would be enough room in daytime television for soaps, game and talk shows.

But hey, what do I know?  I’m sure the revamped version of Let’s Make A Deal that’s taking the place of GL will be a huge hit with viewers.

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy this last week and my stroll down memory lane.  If you too are a GL fan, head to the official finale portion of the web site and browse the video clips. There you’ll find highlights from past story lines, interviews, and behind the scenes stuff.  Who knows how long the site will be up,  so check it out while you can, before the light goes out forever.

To Blog or Not To Blog

My blogging has gone from twice a week to a mere twice a month for about 6 months now. Ironically, my stats are the highest they’ve ever been.  Apparently if you write a post about the Snuggie, you suddenly become Arianna Huffington.

There are a lot of reasons behind my lack of blogging.  The main one being that I’ve been too pissed off lately to post.  I think that readers deserved to be entertained and/or informed, not annoyed by my ramblings.  Everyone’s pissed off about something but unless you’re going to turn your anger into a kick ass comedy routine, save it for your private journals or significant others.

Truth be told, I’ve been pissed ever since the election and if this was a political blog it would make perfect sense to spend every post bitching about the conservative Christian right.  But this is not a political blog so I’ve made a conscious choice to not react to every Tom, Dick and Joe Wilson out there in “I’m such a fucking patriot – watch me be too much of an asshole to be part of the solution so I’ll just continue to be part of the problem” land.

See what I mean?  Not funny.  Just mean and very Rush Limbaugh like.

The other reason for my lack of blogging is because I’ve spent the last 5 months doing yoga teacher training.  A lot of my free time has been used reading up on the history of yoga, the contraindications of particular asanas and the proper sequencing of yoga classes.  Besides learning about yoga, I’m also taking continuing education credits to get re-certified in speech therapy and return to my previous life as an acute care health professional. Hopefully this time next year, I’ll be doing both part time.

The third reason for my lack of blogging is due to some changes to my health.  I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis and I’ve had a lot to process.  The good news is that  unlike a majority of folks with the disease, I learned I had MS from a routine MRI and not due to having any symptoms, literally “stumbling” on it this summer. Most folks with MS suffer from various symptoms for years, sometimes decades before having a definitive diagnosis.  Since my cart came before my horse I’ve been able to take complete advantage of this and start my daily injectable medication without any real complaints or concerns.  If all goes well, the meds will work at the level of my immune system and keep me from developing any more brain lesions in the future.

Therefore, I’m not sure what form this blog will take moving forward.  Don’t be surprised if you see more health and wellness posts and although I don’t want to limit my blogging to only MS and yoga, be forewarned.  I have just been diagnosed with a disease with no cure, that is unbelievable expensive to treat and that labels me as a person with a pre-existing condition. You can imagine what my next post on health care reform will be like.