Small World My Ass

Announcer: Linda, you’ve just cleaned out the refrigerator.  What are you going to do now?

Linda: I’m going to Disney World!

Seriously.  I’m going in November.  I’m going to be one of those shit parents that pulls their kid out of school to take them to the happiest place on earth.  🙂

Truthfully, I think planning a trip to Baghdad would be less stressful.  And cheaper.

I got smart and called a travel agent that specializes in all things Disney. Missy from Small World Vacations is handling things which frees me up to focus on selling a kidney to pay for this trip.  And I must send a virtual kiss out the writers of The Unofficial Guide To Walt Disney World for such a thorough analysis of all things Disney.  But I must admit, this knowledge is power thing is starting to backfire.  The Unofficial Guide authors note that:

Walt Disney World is among tourist destinations what New York is among cities: big, complex, and intimidating. (pg.3)

Apparently Disney World is so large it’s double the size of Manhattan. One reader’s testimonial shared in the book explained how he wore a pedometer during his 5-day Disney vacation only to discover that he and his wife had walked 68 miles.  That’s about 13 miles per day!  They didn’t go hiking or biking or participate in a triathlon.  They went to Disney for God’s sake.

And that my friends is the problem with planning any vacation – I end up knowing too much.  My husband and kids are clueless.  They don’t know that you shouldn’t go to a park during peak season on a extra magic hour day or that The Rock and Roll Roller coaster goes from 0 – 60 in 2 seconds or that as many as 25 FASTPASS holder will be admitted for every stand-by guest in line.  They just know that they’re going to Disney and don’t really give a damn about the particulars.

So at this point in the game, the only way I’m going to enjoy this trip is to plan for the obvious like hotels, flights, and park tickets and then let the rest happen spontaneously.  As soon as I make the plane reservations I’m putting the guide books away.  No sense sucking the fun out of our family vacation before it even begins.


2 responses to “Small World My Ass

  1. Fucking great commentary my grandkid! Proud of ya. Enjoy D-World; kiss Mickey M for me. We are going to drown ourselves in tequila on a cruise to Mexico Riviera in 2 weeks. Now let’s see if you read your “comments” column. Love ya. PG

  2. See people – even my grandmother swears! Honestly, I can’t think of anyone in my family that doesn’t.

    Don’t eat the worm, Pat. Then again, Irv’s over 80 – he can do whatever he wants on the cruise.

    Love you,

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