80’s 80’s Go Away

They’re coming back and I’m afraid, very afraid.

Skinny pants were never a good idea.  And all those what not to wear people have told us for years that skinny pants are  satanic and evil.  Now The Gap wants us to walk into their stores wearing our nicely proportioned boot cut jeans that make our hips look less wide and our thighs look less rotund and trade them in for a stretch fabric that hugs every inch and curve?

Are they head injured?  Insane?  Smoking Crack?    

So let me make myself clear.  I’ve got money to spend that will stay right in my wallet, Mr. Gap Man if you think for one second I’m revisiting skinny pants.  You can kiss my mid-rise, loose fitting ass if you think I’m doing that trend a second time.  My friend Cindy has made it clear to me that

If you did the trend the first time, you cannot do it the second time.

And she’s absolutely right. 

And while we’re on the subject – the same goes for ripped sweatshirts, pumps with socks, pumps that match the colors of your eye shadow which match the appliques on your tunic style sweater, earrings the size of newborn infants and headbands. 

Back away from the 80’s fashion ideas and keep your hands where I can see them – or you won’t be seeing my hands reach into my purse to pull out my credit card any time soon.

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4 responses to “80’s 80’s Go Away

  1. I have to totally agree. I just went into the Gap yesterday to find some jeans, and right in the front they have this huge display of skinny pants, with who else but the gorgeous Audrey Hepburn on huge 10 foot posters,like we all have a figure like hers, 85 pounds and 5 ft tall, and then there was ACDC playing in the background, I thought I had died and gone back in the past…so just to humor myself I held the pants up to myself and thought,maybe I could try these on. Are you kidding, what the hell am I thinking, I have got to be insane to jump back in time and try to get into this fashion era again. Have they gone bonkers on us, the 80’s fashion scene sucked so bad, I can’t even believe we got away with the crap that we wore…and the leggings are back too…give me a break!! I actually asked my mom the other day, do you think I could pull off wearing those leggings again(she probably thought I was high)..she looked at me with this rolled eye sort of look, I guess that said it all.

  2. Hey you’re my first comment! I wish I had some sort of prize to give you.

    What makes me mad about this skinny pants thing is that for years fashion experts on Oprah’s show and in her magazine told us to NEVER wear tapered jeans. They called them “mom” jeans and made fun of people that wore them. Once they actually ripped mom pants off a women ON CAMERA! And Oprah sat there noding her head in agreement. Yet in this month’s O magazine, there was a piece on how skinny pants can actually make you look thinner.

    Where’s their credibility? Why is it okay to lie just to keep up with the trends? Why hasn’t anyone called these “experts” on this obvious contradiction?

    The one interesting trend I’ve noticed is the 40’s hair-dos by younger stars these days – so maybe the 40’s look is coming back as well. Maybe the looks will compete. I think that would be a fun look to play around with.

    In fact, maybe I’ll start dressing that way in protest to the 80’s look.

  3. “Where’s their credibility? Why is it okay to lie just to keep up with the trends? Why hasn’t anyone called these “experts” on this obvious contradiction?” I’ll tell ya where it is, Linda, their credibility lies with the million dollar full page color ads that the GAP pays them for! 😛 Cynical? you might ask — hel ja I am! I know this 46″ ass is NOT wearing a pair of skinny pants even in the confines of my own home! I have to maintain *some* of my self confidence! ~~Lisa N

  4. Hell….I just got used to seeing ass cracks showing every time someone bends over. Is Oprah actually wearing the skinny jeans?

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