Speak To The Sperm Donor

He’s right in front of you making the morning coffee. He’s the VP of Operations for God’s sake. He’s smart. Responsible. Organized. He remembers shit from his high school calculus class. He can get the knot out of your shoe. He can make an egg. He can get the Motrin down from the top shelf. He can sign your permission slip. Seriously, he’s THAT qualified.

So here’s what you need to do sweet child of mine.

Go to “Categories”;
Click on “Settings”;
Click on “Change Default Settings”
Change “Always ask Mom” to “Sometimes just for the hell of it, ask Dad”.

Advertisements

2 responses to “Speak To The Sperm Donor

  1. speaking from the donators side, I’d like to say that we construct a very complicated wall or “aura” around ourselves. We are “all knowing” and “all powerful” and “all fixin'”. With that sort of resume, who would want to approach us,when they can ask who’s second in charge? Much easier to approach her, than go so far up the ladder. NOW, if the question is REALLY HARD, then it’s still easier to ask the second in charge, correct? I’m not saying we do this on purpose. It’s part of the chromosomes we hold. Just like the magnet you hold, which draws a sick child to you. When they are sick NO ONE is more important to be with, than Mom. No one else will do. The magnet we have, is that it doesn’t matter how BIG the child becomes, they still consider us the jungle gym. No matter how many children you pile on top, there’s always room for one more. Until they hear a bone snap, we are always there to be the physical challenge to beat.

  2. It’s taking me a while to respond to this. As I don’t know you personally I can’t figure out if you’re being serious or sarcastic. I think they should invent a sarcasm button – something that italicizes text with a left-handed slant so you know that a person is joking without having to insert a smiley face made out of punctuation marks.

    So, how about I leave it at that instead of possibly putting my foot in my mouth. You could always write back and clarify if you choose. Regardless, thanks for reading.
    Sincerely,
    Second in Command (Insert sarcasm italics here)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s