Remember the cartoon riots in Denmark? Back in September of 2005, protests erupted over cartoons satirizing Muhammad and Islam that were published in the Danish paper, Politiken.
Now a British teacher, Gillian Gibbons has been arrested in Sudan for allowing her pupils to name their class teddy bear, Muhammad. She faces 40 lashes and months of jail time for this horrid act of blasphemy. Which got me thinking….why is the Islamic holy guy so damn precious? Other holy guys get all kinds of abuse and no one says anything. In fact, just a few quick searches on Amazon and I found all sorts of things that should make Christians everywhere want to lash out both literally and figuratively.
There’s the Funky Fresh Jesus:
The Special Effects Jesus (Note the cool, glow in the dark hands):
I don’t know what to call this guy
Because he looks so much like this guy:
So let’s just call him the Domino’s Oreo Pizza Jesus, which leaves us left with the South Park Jesus
Complete with a jug of water AND wine.
Note that I haven’t even gotten into pictures, posters, or DVD’s of biblical stories reenacted by fresh vegetables. I’m guessing shirts like, “Who would Muhammad bomb?” or bumper stickers like, “I found Muhammad…he was behind the couch the entire time!” wouldn’t go over well over there.
Ironically, the Danish riots were in response to cartoons which were in response to an article that stated how afraid writers, illustrators and performers were to touch Islam. The article was about the fact that if you become mainstream, which is apparently what Islamic followers want, then you have to take with it the pitfalls of mainstream popularity, i.e., being open to all the shit all the other religions are open to: SNL skits, satirical editorial cartoons, South Park episodes and plastic tchatchkies. And, not only are you allowed to be a target, but those that target you are allowed to make a ton of money, doing it.
So it seems to me that fundamental Islamic fanatics need to have a Project Runway moment and make a decision. You’re either in or you’re out. And if you’re in, especially in this country, get ready because the funky fresh Muhammad will be the least of your concerns. Because although there are more Christians than Muslins in the United States, the capitalists out number everyone and in the end, the almighty dollar is the one we worship the most.