Last Minute Gift Ideas

Lady of the night, lady of the night, lady of the night…or for those that don’t understand the politically correct dialect of the holiday season… Ho, Ho, Ho!

Are you sweating bullets yet? It’s the Saturday before Christmas. Holy Shit! The malls will be jammed, the streets will be packed, parking lots will be filled to capacity and you need to enter this lion’s den of lunacy to shop. Sorry but I can’t help you. I gave you permission a few weeks ago to buy gift cards at your local super market. It’s not my problem if you didn’t heed my advice. But I can help those that need some last minute, fun gift ideas.

Yesterday, while walking downtown after enjoying a late lunch, we ducked into Cinegraphic Studios a store that sells “Silly Things For Silly People.” It’s a great store for anyone with an open mind, a liberal view of religion and a deep hatred of George W. Bush.

Here I found silly and interesting last minute gifts and stocking stuffers not to mention all the Jesus toys that I had featured in a previous post called: Lighten Up.

Freudian Slippers


Looking Good For Jesus Compact Mirror


Wash Away Your Sins Lip Balm


Instant Happy Childhood Memories Breath Spray


George Bush Toilet Paper


The Hillary Nutcracker


I know what you’re thinking. But I don’t have a fun downtown store like Cinegraphic Studios in my city. Well order the stuff online, have it shipped to your loved one and wrap the picture so they know what they’ll be receiving in the mail a few days after Christmas.

Or go brave the insanity along with everyone else. But if you do…keep your mouth shut, your head down and your eye rolling to a minimum. It’s the weekend before Christmas. Expect crowds, lines, and for the day to be an overall SNAFU. Christmas is the same day each year and you’ve had plenty of time to pre-plan. If you didn’t, don’t allow that to be your excuse for being an ass this Christmas.




One response to “Last Minute Gift Ideas

  1. What no shopping at the gas station store? That’s my daughter’s favorite story about you. Linda, one time after she had one of the girls, was on her way to Christmas at her mom’s and realized she forgot to buy her step grandmother a gift. She went into the gas station and bought maps and travel mugs because gram was heading to FL after the holidays. Her grandmother thought it was the best gift ever. It was so funny and creative.

    Sorry Pat.

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