I consider myself to be a pretty liberal, progressive and open minded person, but I’ve gotta be honest. I’m not sure how I feel about the pregnant man.
Is it the baby bump bulging from a body of a bearded bloke that freaks me out?
Is it the fact that someone wanted to be a man so bad that she would have her breasts removed, take testosterone and legally become male yet make the conscious decision to do something so female?
Am I just miffed because a man is staking claim to the one thing I can do that he can’t?
Or am I just getting narrow-minded and self-righteous in my old age? Is this how it starts? Am I on a slippery slope? Will I (gasp) start voting Republican and get a pin-up of Rick Santorum to hang in the garage?
The fact is, I have no problem with 2 men raising children. I just seem to take issue with a man bringing a child into the world. I also have no problem with someone feeling trapped in their body and wanting to change their gender, but seem to want this person to make a choice and not walk the fence on this one. Per the Oprah web site:
In 2002, Thomas opted to have his breasts surgically removed and legally became a man, but he made the conscious decision to keep his female reproductive organs. “I wanted to have a child one day,” he says. “I didn’t know how. It was just a dream.”
Thomas says the desire to have children doesn’t make him feel like less of a man. “I have a very stable male gender identity. I see pregnancy as a process, and it doesn’t define who I am. It’s not a male or female desire to want to have a child…it’s a human desire,” he says. “I’m a person, and I have the right to have my own biological child.”
The more I think about it – it’s the above statement that’s giving me pause. I want him to make a choice, damn it and I don’t know why. If he were on Oprah telling the world that he was bi-sexual, I wouldn’t give a shit. So what’s my problem?
He’s not hurting me. His wife’s on board. His grown step-children think it’s super. His neighbors are jazzed. Clearly they love each other. What do I care? The only issue that I can possibly hang my hat on is whether a woman, that has been taking hormones to become a man, puts her fetus at risk. Did nine doctors refuse to work with them for medical reasons or just ethical ones?
Or maybe I just need a learning curve? Does poor Thomas not get my stamp of approval just because he’s the first to do this? If he was the 100th pregnant man, would I care?