The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

Alright ladies, it’s that time of year once again!!! If you haven’t received the chain email below, allow me to help you out. I think we need to be reminded of a few things. So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toes and repeat after me…

The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 or 20 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Don ‘t keep this to yourself – pass it on to other sisters.

(Author’s note 3/25/2016: The above was passed around anonymously via email back when we called such things “chain emails”.  Before things went viral via social media. I never knew the author to give proper credit. If anyone knows who wrote it, please let me know so I can properly give her or him his due.)

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9 responses to “The Open Toed Shoe Pledge

  1. I promise to keep my feet clean, because nothing looks worse than dirty feet in a pair of sandals.

  2. Very true. Allow me to speak for everyone when I say how much we appreciate your effort on this.

  3. AMEN SISTER!! I myself have Fred Flintstone feet and am very aware of how they look in sandals. I wish I could say the same for others!!!

  4. Reblogged this on When The Road Darkens and commented:
    *raises her big toe and swears the Oath*

  5. Thank you for this. Corn, bunions and even onions on feet is never a good thing, let alone dirt. Cracked heels help to keep it interesting in the check out line no doubt, but still, not a good look.

  6. Some of us can only wear sandals for various reasons. Why don’t you vow to not look at people’s feet.

    • Sweetie…It was joke from 8 years ago because my own feet looked like shit and when I got the email and looked down I thought, “Damn, I need a pedicure!”. Enjoy! Have a chuckle and if you happen to celebrate it, a great Easter weekend. If not, have a fabulous day.

  7. it’s spring 2017 and i still love and send this email to all my girlfriends…EVERY YEAR they tell me they look forward to it!

    • Aww…thanks for thinking of me and this post every spring! 🙂 I really appreciate it. I now blog over at https://lindabp.com/ if you’re interested. Have a great day and happy spring. (Today it’s 21 degrees and super windy north of the Nation’s Capital – Thanks for reminding me that spring is on it’s way.)

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