Parenting Tip #487

My daughter is a class A-1 Putzer. She takes her time. Her sweet, old, I’m-in-7th-grade-and-can’t-do-two-things-at once, time. I‘ve covered this topic before so I wont repeat myself, but I may have finally figured out how to get her ass moving in the morning.

Browsing around iTunes earlier this week I was thinking of cassette tapes that I used to listen to in high school and college. I remembered some oldies but goodies from Janet Jackson, Aerosmith and John Cougar Melencamp when suddenly I had a flash to my pre-tape days and remembered an album sized single of The Sugar Hill Gang’s 8th Wonder. Back when I myself was a 7th grader I spent hours in the basement learning the words. It’s a 7 minute rap song — since I didn’t have the internet to do a lyric search, I had to listen to a line, lift the needle, write it down and repeat — it took awhile.

I’m sure that listening to the album 10,000 times as well as writing down each word is the reason why 28 years later I can still remember the lyrics but routinely forget that I have a chiropractic appointment scheduled. Honestly, I just need to hear those first few bars of trumpets and bam – I’ve got feathered hair, braces, a pair of Gloria Vanderbelts and room in my head for both rap songs and social studies quizzes.

But I digress – back to my parenting advice. The other day, I waited until her friends showed up in the morning to walk to school and gave her one warning. Get moving or I start rapping. Having your mom sing is bad enough, but to have her rap – that’s torturous, but it worked like a charm. Today I may dance too. Tomorrow when my husband is back in town, we’re both going to rap and dance. I’m guessing she’ll be on the porch waiting for them so as to avoid having them come inside.

So baby dolls and all you daddy-o’s, go onto iTunes, download all your fly rap songs and then sing them – loudly! If you still have the LP’s or casettes you can send them to Reclaim Media to make copies for you. Or better yet, digitize your collection yourself. You wont have that crisp, studio quality sound, but then again, if you’re old enough to to have an album collection you never had that crisp, studio quality sound, anyway.

On a side note – listen to the song and notice how innocent it is: They turn this mother, sucker out and go to “bleep” instead of saying the word, bed. They just shake it. Don’t break it. Cause they know we can make, make, make it. They go aw, aw, aw-aw, ooh-ooh!

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2 responses to “Parenting Tip #487

  1. You GO, girlfriend!

  2. I knew someone out there would appreciate how cool I am.
    You go dang, ditty, dang, de, dang, de, dang, ditty, ditty, dang!

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