I hit my head Sunday night. Hard. As in fainting and going from a standing position to a prone position on a concrete driveway, type of hard.
Here’s how it went down. My dad woke me up at 3:30 AM because as he was leaving for work he noticed that my dome light was on in my car. Not wanting me to wake to a dead battery, and not being able to find my keys to take care of this for me – he woke me out of a seriously deep sleep. I’m guessing the jumping up and rushing outside mixed with the fact that earlier that evening I had ingested a large amount of wine combined and caused me to take a dive.
Since I like to learn from mistakes or unfortunate circumstances, I must say that all week I’ve been thinking, DAMN the human body is amazing! I’m shocked that I’m not suddenly stupid or suffering from cortical blindness after hitting my head like that. Hell, I didn’t even bleed or break anything, although I know enough about the brain to know that I sure as shit bruised something in there.
But that’s the problem with knowing a little about the brain, but not being say a neurosurgeon, and knowing a ton about the brain. The jury is still out regarding how the brain functions because there always seems to be an exception to the rule. I remember once having a pretty indepth conversation with a guy missing the entire left side of his frontal lobe. You would think that missing one’s “speech center” would stop one from actually speaking. He was pretty chatty actually. I guess his brain rewired itself. Whereas another guy I once worked with had mild-moderate language problems due to simply falling off a bar stool. If I asked him to shake his head, he would sadly, shake his ass. That can be a problem in life, as you can imagine.
That’s the funny thing about brain traumas as opposed to getting shot in the head. Bullets leave holes so blood and puss have somewhere to go. Trauma results in swelling that has no where to go so pressure builds, structures get pressed upon, symptoms show up, abilities change – yada, yada, yada – you get the picture.
Luckily Annette, my sister-in-love (A.K.A. my brother’s long term fiance, that I love like a sister-in-law) is a chiropractor with man hands similar to those featured in an old Seinfield episode.
When she presses her thumbs into the muscles of your neck and back you don’t know if you want to kiss her full on the mouth or frankly, beat the shit of her. She has adjusted me twice since falling which has helped a lot. However, I believe that my going to an amusement park three days post injury and riding roller coasters in retrospect, was a bad idea. So now I’m paying the price each morning, feeling not necessarily drunk, but buzzed, until about noon each day.
I’m sure I’ll be fine. My brain just has to heal. I’ll see a doctor Monday when I get back if my symptoms continue or get worse. I promise that I wont drive anywhere before lunch time.
So why am I bringing this up? Because not being a brain expert, I’ve been online, self-diagnosing only to find that many of the sites dedicated to brain injury, concussion, vertigo, and dizziness are not run by doctors but by lawyers.
Ahhhh….see where I’m going with this?
One site even has an attorney on video explaining the vestibular system – in detail. That would be the law offices of The Brain Injury Group. Seriously, that’s the name.
I wouldn’t ask my Ob/Gyn to represent me in small claims court or notarize my final will and testament, so Mr. Lawyer Man, don’t be spouting medical shit online. I’ve got no problem with you wanting to represent folks that have suffered a brain injury – but hire an actual brain specialist to sit there on camera to talk about the vestibular system.
Well, I’ve gotta run, or should I say slowly, walk and get ready for the day. My plan is to shower, shave and consider suing my father. Thank God for that Brain Injury Group. Hopefully I wont be too dizzy to dial the phone.