Category Archives: Fashion

Bravo Momma! Bravo.

Quite possibly  the greatest blog post I have read – ever.

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Happy Birthday Barbie!

This has been around a while, but in case you haven’t seen it.

It’s Snuggie Time!

I’m sitting here in front of the fire reflecting on my next post when I realized that I didn’t blog about the fashionable and fabulous Snuggie that I got for Christmas from my husband.  

Yeah, you read that right.  

There were two gifts for me under the tree.  Gary said this year I was going to be impressed with what he had picked out for me as he had put a lot of time and energy into his choices.  The first gift was a cookbook that he had researched extensively.  Gary felt that Alton Brown’s, I’m Just Here For The Food  was perfect for me as it combine recipes with the science behind the cooking that once mastered, I could apply to my day to day culinary needs.  Gary was absolutely right – it is a great cookbook that explains concepts more than just showcasing recipes – which is why I bought myself a copy 2 years ago.

Busted.  One gift down.  One to go.

I could tell Gary was disappointed so I pointed out that buying a book I already owned only proved how well he knew me and how connected we are.  And I honestly believed that until I opened box number two and pulled out a picture of my gift that was on back order.

Is this an ad for a blanket or porn for priests?

Is this an ad for a blanket or porn for priests?

A Snuggie!  Wow.  That’s a great gift,” I said in a way that would leave Meryl Streep begging me for tips and pointers.

“I know how much you like to get up early and write. I thought this was perfect for those cold mornings by the fire.  You could stay warm AND type. Cool huh?” 

You betcha.

The problem was, I wasn’t sure if he was joking or not.  For weeks my daughters and I had been make fun of the Snuggie commercials.

 Read a book.

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Join a Monestary.

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 Give Communion

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Become a Jedi Master

May The Warmth Be With YOu

May The Warmth Be With You

 

 

I thought maybe it was a gag gift, so I pulled my daughter aside and asked, “Was your dad serious about the Snuggie?  Did he really order me one or was he joking?”

“Oh no, Mom. He’s serious.”

“Does he not know that we make fun of the commercial constantly?” I asked.

“Apparently not.”

“What are you guys whispering about?”  Gary asked.  “You don’t like the Snuggie.  That’s it, right?”

Needless to say the truth came out.  As my friend’s 10-year-old daughter pointed out, you could save the $20 and simply wear your robe backwards.  The Snuggie is just one of those great ideas that looks too ridiculous to catch on with the public.  Like the Umbrella Hat:

See even a tough guy in camo can't pull off this look.  What chance do you and I have?

See even a tough guy in camo can't pull off this look. What chance do you and I have?

Or the beer hat:

Sadly, you still see a few of these at tailgates.

Sadly, you still see a few of these at tailgates.

I will say this.  The Snuggie is warm and the free book light is nice.  The neighbor girl slept over and chose the Snuggie over her sleeping bag.  Our really tall friend Paul was cold a few weeks ago while watching the Steeler game.  We pulled out the Snuggie and damn it if he wasn’t covered from head to toe yet still freed up to drink his beer and nosh.  My only complaint is that it needs a velcro closure at the back of the neck to keep it around your body.

Word got out a few days after Christmas that I had received such a fabulous gift.  When the other husbands started to taunt Gary, asking if he planned on getting me The Clapper next year or maybe a Chia Pet, it inspired him to not only head to the jewelry store but to take my teenage daughter with him to help pick out something else.  

Paige had my back.  He had his hand on a watch with hearts all over the band and she straightened him out pronto, directing him to the diamonds.  

So it all worked out in the end.   

 

 

One Classy Broad

Dove Rocks

Have you seen the new Dove commercial?  It’s called, Evolution and it’s for their "Campaign For Real Beauty".  It shows a young women sitting down without her make up on or her hair done and her "evolution" to being featured on a billboard.  From the first dab of concealer to the digitizing of her face you see how she goes from a real person to a computerized version of herself.  At the end of the clip it states, No wonder our perception of beauty is distorted.

I’m not naive.  I know that celebrities are airbrushed before landing on the cover of magazines, movie posters and CD cases – but I thought they were just having zits removed, wrinkles erased or extra flab shaved off their ass.  I didn’t think they were getting eye lifts and their necks elongated.

I’m also surprised that certain celebrities with lots of power and clout don’t refuse to be digitized on the basis of false advertising.  Rosie O’Donnell never allowed herself to be airbrushed on the cover of her magazine.  I really respected that.  I think Oprah should do the same thing.  I think she should tell her staff to work their magic with makeup, lighting, wardrobe and hair and leave the post production out of it.  We’d still buy her magazine.  He’ll, we’ve seen her without makeup on television.  We know what the broad looks like without her eye-lashes on and in her "fat jeans".  We can handle a non-airbrushed cover.  Cfrb_firming_campain_icon_1

So BRAVO to Dove.  I love this commercial.  I love that there’s a campaign for real beauty.  I love that real women in their underwear posed for their campaign last year.  I love that they give a damn.  I love that they have a fund to support self-esteem programs around the globe.

I love this so much that I’m slowly replacing all of my toiletry products with Dove products.  I use the body lotion, shampoo and conditioner.  As soon as I run out of deodorant I will be replacing my Secret with Dove.  Same for hair spray, and anything else they sell.  And lets be clear – Dove hairspray is a hell of a lot more expensive than the White Rain that I buy for .99 cents, but that’s okay.  I’m worth it.  The campaign for real beauty is worth it.  My daughters are worth it. 

Consider supporting Dove with your dollars the next time you go to the store.  And if you do spend $15, send in your receipt and you can get a free t-shirt.  Click here for more info: 

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80’s 80’s Go Away

They’re coming back and I’m afraid, very afraid.

Skinny pants were never a good idea.  And all those what not to wear people have told us for years that skinny pants are  satanic and evil.  Now The Gap wants us to walk into their stores wearing our nicely proportioned boot cut jeans that make our hips look less wide and our thighs look less rotund and trade them in for a stretch fabric that hugs every inch and curve?

Are they head injured?  Insane?  Smoking Crack?    

So let me make myself clear.  I’ve got money to spend that will stay right in my wallet, Mr. Gap Man if you think for one second I’m revisiting skinny pants.  You can kiss my mid-rise, loose fitting ass if you think I’m doing that trend a second time.  My friend Cindy has made it clear to me that

If you did the trend the first time, you cannot do it the second time.

And she’s absolutely right. 

And while we’re on the subject – the same goes for ripped sweatshirts, pumps with socks, pumps that match the colors of your eye shadow which match the appliques on your tunic style sweater, earrings the size of newborn infants and headbands. 

Back away from the 80’s fashion ideas and keep your hands where I can see them – or you won’t be seeing my hands reach into my purse to pull out my credit card any time soon.

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